Mars: (pops in) SCOUTS? WAHAHAHAHAHA! What a funny name!

Announcer: Anyways, then, a giant tree falls on the senshi, leaving Sailor Moon by herself. Two voices say they will rescue Sailor Moon, but who are they? Let's have a look!

Intro: Fighting evil by moonlight…

Announcer: FORGET THE DUMB INTRO SONG! Let's just continue where we left off.

Moon: Who's that? Is it who I think it is?

Dubbed Moon: What? Who? I've never heard those voices in my life!

Voice One: That's because you don't get us in dubbed version!

Voice Two: Yeah, we're too precious to be dubbed.

(Two figures jump down from a tall building and land on their feet gracefully)

Dubbed Moon: Who are you?

Dubbed Mars: No MOON! Why did you ask that question?

Dubbed Moon: What?

Dubbed Venus: BECAUSE, if they're Sailor scouts--which their outfit suggests…

Voice One: It's called fuku, you dubbed senshi.

Dubbed Venus: Whatever. IF THEY'RE SAILOR SCOUTS, then THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE US A BORING INTRO SPEECH IN A LANGUAGE WE WON'T UNDERSTAND!

Dubbed Moon: (scratching her head) What's that?

Dubbed Venus: JAPANESE!!!!!!

Voice One: That's RIGHT! (Intro music starts)
Arata na jidai ni sasowarete, Sailoruranus, karei ni katsuyaku!

Voice Two: Onaji, Sailor Neptune, yuuga ni katsuyaku!

Dubbed Moon: Arata na WAH?

Dubbed Venus: Onaji HUH?

Dubbed Mars: I think they sound pretty cool, even though I have no clue what they're saying.

Uranus: I SAID… (Intro music starts again)
Invited by the new age, the beautiful Sailor Uranus!

Neptune: Similar, I am the elegant Sailor Neptune!

Moon: Hey, don't you only say that when you appear in Sailor Moon S?

Uranus: Yeah, but so what? They've never seen us, and I need a change from the old sayings when I'm always appearing with Pluto and Saturn.

Dubbed Moon: Who the heck is Uranus and Neptune? It's only ME, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Mercury. YOU ALL KNOW THAT!!!

Uranus: This girl is getting really annoying. I think I'll Talisman her.

Neptune: Go for it girl.

Dubbed Moon: Whatever that means, it doesn't sound good…Venus, protect me. I'm the princess, remember?

(Moon grabs Venus and uses her as a shield)

Uranus: (Pulls out her space sword) Space Sword Blast!

(The little lights hit dubbed Venus)

Dubbed Venus: Ow, that hurt! Venus Crescent Beam SMASH!

Neptune: Was that SMASH bit REALLY necessary? And the Venus part too!

Dubbed Venus: Hey, I'm dubbed. Whatdoyathink? Crescent Beam?!
(Suddenly, a crescent beam appears and shoots out at a tree, slicing it in half)

Dubbed Venus: Hey, wow! Maybe I should get rid of that SMASH and Venus part after all?

Neptune: Take my advice girl, and do just that. Then you'll be the second scout to come to her senses.

Dubbed Venus: Who was the first?

Dubbed Mars: Why me of course!

Dubbed Moon: Hey, are you all ditching DIC and me?

Dubbed Venus: Oh, I don't know.

Voice One: Fighter Star Power, Make up!

Voice Two: Maker Star Power, Make up!

Voice Three: Healer Star Power, Make up!

Dubbed Moon: What was that?

Moon: It's the Sailor Starlights! They're here to rescue me!

Luna: Didn't they leave with their princess?

Artemis: (His first appearance) Apparently not.

Dubbed Moon: Who are the Sailor Starlights? Will someone tell me what's going on? WAHHHH! (Drops to the ground and starts wailing)

Dubbed Luna: (Sighs) Maybe I'll opt for the job of being a guardian to someone other than Sailor Moon.

Diana: (Her first appearance) I hear that Card Captor Sakura is looking for a new sidekick other than that rodent with wings.

Dubbed Luna: I can't speak Japanese…

Luna: Well, there's always the dubbed version of Card Captor.

(Out of the sky, three scantily dressed, masculine females appear.)

Sailor Starfighter: Hey Sailor Moon, I hear you need a bit of help?

Sailor Starhealer: Well, we're here!

Sailor Starmaker: Back and ready to fight!

Sailor Starfighter: I'll even forgive you for getting engaged to that Mamoru.

Dubbed Moon: I'm sorry, but I think I missed something. Sailor Moon, who are these poorly dressed females whom DIC would certainly not approve of?

Moon: Why don't you let THEM explain that to you?

Dubbed Mars and Venus: Oh no, here we go again!
(Luckily, Mars finds Dubbed Mercury's computer on the floor and uses it to translate Japanese.)

Dubbed Venus: Mars, you can actually work that thing?

Dubbed Mars: No, but it's fake. Anyone can work a fake computer, can't they?

Dubbed Venus: Of course. You may start now.

Sailor Starmaker: Jiyuu no taiki kakenukeru...

Sailor Starfighter: Mitsu no seinaru nagareboshi…
…Sailor Starfighter!

Sailor Starmaker: Sailor Starmaker!

Sailor Starhealer: Sailor Starhealer!

Sailor Starlights: STAGE ON!

Dubbed Moon: Mars, Venus, what did they just say?

Dubbed Venus: Something like… Standing in the black of night... Dashing through the air of freedom... The three heavenly falling stars...Sailor Starfighter! Sailor Starmaker! Sailor Starhealer! LET'S START!

Sailor Starfighter: No, no! I can see your fake computer is wrong again.

Sailor Starhealer: For your information, it's not let's start, it's…STAGE ON!!!

Sailor Starmaker: Funny how you didn't get that figuring that it's the only thing other than our names that we said in English.

Dubbed Mars: (Throwing down dubbed Mercury's computer) Dumb Computer!

Announcers: We interrupt this show for a commercial break. (Taking place on the North American channels)

Man One: My kids are really into the Sailor dolls being sold at Toys R' Us.

Woman One: So are my kids. In fact, my daughter has all the sailor dolls!

Man One: Does she have Nerissa, Celia, and Corinne?

Woman One: Oh! You mean those other scouts, Pluto, Uranus, and Neptune.

Uranus: (Popping her head in) Will you LOOK at the names they gave us! I'm HARUKA, Ha-Ru-Ka!

Man Two: Don't forget Saturn and that flamingo girl.

Woman One: Oh, you mean RINI!

Usagi: Chibi-Usa's personality was bad enough. Now they have to add to that and call her RINI?

Michiru: I thought Chibi-Usa-chan was pretty cute!

Usagi: You think anyone is cute Michiru, even your trash compactor!

Michiru: Oh yeah, well you…

Announcer: Any ways, lets get on with the commercial, shall we?

Man One: Oh look, we have three new dolls.

Woman One: They look like three men to me.

Man Two: Yeah, but watch what happens when you push this button…

(A little button on the back of Seiya doll is pushed, and he turns into a scantily clothed female)

Woman One: Ooh, just like the new Ranma doll!

Man One: Yeah, except their clothes are a WHOLE lot better!

Announcer: So buy your Sailor Starlights dolls today, and you can get a free Sailor Moon doll to go with it, whose sales have already decreased since the "other scouts" came out.

Uranus: That's right, 'cause we outer senshi are the best!

Announcer: Now, back to Sailor Moon D! (Dubbed/Dumb)

Moon: You know, we really should get this over with and stop that maniac dubbed moonie from taking over the original Sailor Moon show!

Dubbed Moon: Let's hurry up and take over the show before it's too late! Come on Venus! Mars!

Dubbed Venus: Uh…how about later?

Dubbed Mars: Yeah, it's already dinner time and I'm going to be late.

Dubbed Venus: See ya Moon!

(Mars and Venus detransform and walk away, leaving dubbed moon alone with Sailor Moon)

Moon: Well, it's just you and me now.

Uranus: Hey, what about us moon girl?

Neptune: Don't tell me we're just part of the background now!

(A giant tree suddenly falls on Uranus and Neptune for no particular reason except to advance the plot. Like usual)

Sailor Starfighter: Okay, so now those two are gone, but there's still three of us to help you out.

Moon: Let me deal with this dubbed moon girl myself, okay?

Sailor Starhealer: Suits me, but don't come crying to us if you get Moon Scepter Eliminated.

Moon: Moon Scepter wah? Another dubbed attack, no doubt!

Dubbed Moon: I'll beat you. Watch this!
Moon Tiara Magic!

(Dubbed Sailor moon takes her tiara off and throws it, but it stops glowing right before hitting Sailor Moon and falls to the ground)

Dubbed Moon: (Picks it up) Darn, it's out of batteries? Does anyone have triple A batteries?

Luna: Quick Sailor Moon, while she's stalling!

Sailor Moon: Right! Crisis Make up!

(Dubbed Sailor Moon watches in awe as Sailor Moon transforms to Super Sailor Moon)

Super Sailor Moon: Moon Rainbow Heart Ache!

(Two small hearts pop out of Moon's scepter and fall to the ground)

Super Sailor Moon: Oh darn! I've got Chibi-Usa's stick thingy! Why does this always happen to me?

Luna: 'Cause you're an irresponsible, lazy girl?

Super Sailor Moon: Luna!

Luna: I was just making a suggestion.

Dubbed Moon: Now what?

Dubbed Luna: Summon your new minions to do your bidding!

Dubbed Moon: What?

Dubbed Luna: You know, the dubbed minions!

Dubbed Moon: Oh yeah! Come forth, dubbed minions!

(A low growl is heard, and three figures out of the heart of hell itself step forward. Super Sailor Moon jumps back in fright, stepping on Luna)

Luna: Ouch! Super Sailor Moon, watch where your clumsy feet go! Or at least wear some softer boots!

Super Sailor Moon: Sorry Luna, but I want to see what these minions of hers are.

Minion One: We're ready to do your bidding, dubbed Sailor Moon.

Minion Two: What do you want of us?

Minion Three: Just say it, and we'll be ready!

(All three minions step into the light. Super Sailor Moon gasps. Luna shrieks. And Artemis faints from fright.)

Super Sailor Moon: NOO! IT CAN'T BE!

Announcer: Who are these dubbed minions of dubbed Sailor Moon? What about the sailor senshi still trapped underneath the tree? When will Tuxedo Kamen reappear, and when will those Sailor Starlights start using their attacks? (Especially Star Gentle UTERUS! Hehe) Who will succeed in the end? Tune in for more on Episode Three of Sailor Moon D (Dumb),
Sailormoon in trouble? Tuxedo Kamen saves the day!

Coming Up next: The sailor senshi finally are back in the game, Sailor Moon gets in trouble and Tuxedo Kamen saves her. (Like always, in the nick of time) Sailor Starlights and the new minions have a battle (and the sailor senshi), the truth of why those trees keep falling from the sky is finally revealed, Sailor Saturn and Sailor Pluto make a grand entrance, and of course…Sailor Chibi Moon appears!

(All the Sailor Senshi groan)

Move on to...
Sailormoon D: Sailormoon in trouble? Tuxedo Kamen saves the day!
Summary Page and Author's Notes of Sailormoon D
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